And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize