East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
