your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
