It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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