shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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