are you still at the devil's house?
no you cant smoke seaweed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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