"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
