I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
