I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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