Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
