and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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