i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
