Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
