we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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