There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
