It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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