New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
