when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
