yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
