i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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