I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
