just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Small penises have feelings too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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