I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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