Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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