TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize