So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
