This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
