"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
