Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
