Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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