I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
