bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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