Where did you get a picture of my penis
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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