brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
