This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
