No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
