is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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