"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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