a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
