found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
