from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
