your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
