HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
