I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
