if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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