Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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