New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
