I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
