i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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