Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are the jesus of drinking
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
