So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize