I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
