At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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