I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
high people should be assigned attendants
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
