erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
