so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
