and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
