There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
