am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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