I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
