She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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