I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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