What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
