tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drake has all the answers
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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