dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
In other news, I just burned my penis
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How naked do you want me to be?
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