the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
